kyverno's profile

Kyverno has always been my in-game name. I've forgotten the origin of it but it stuck to me. Somehow, it has become a part of my online identity. In real life, I'm an 18 years old filipino who loves drawing individuals and writing surrealism kind of stories.

I'm extremely melodramatic. If you've read my entries you will think to yourself, "Wow, and edgelord." I know, that have become my signature when I'm writing. I always love putting emotions into my words. To somehow connect with my audience. Even in my art I like to draw the characters' facial expression. Even if it's just a subtle grin.

I'm an ambivert. I like being the center of attention for an hour, making my friends laugh at my jokes and reenacting my stories to them. But after that hour have been spent I just clamped down. You'll see me spacing out behind a group of rowdy teenagers. Black beedy eyes, staring at nothing. Their laughter and chatter rings around my ears, like a buzz. I love my friends, I do. But whenever I'm alone, sitting in a corner far from peering eyes. I'll feel relieved. It seems like you're sitting on a green bench facing the sea. Feeling the salty air caress your face. There's just that wave of calmness and tranquility when you're all by yourself. No one is there to entertain. No one is there to listen.

Maybe that's why in my online persona I'm always alone. In here, I can stay anonymous. Sharing my thoughts with anyone eases my ever swirling soul. In online I tend to be selfish. Even in games that are supposedly cooperative, where you'll enjoy it with your friends. I still chose to become a solo player.

My friend once asked me, "Why don't you play with others?" I've gone quite, thinking for a moment, and then replied.

"I guess it's not just for me."

But I know the truth. In online, I'm Kyverno. I tend to shy away from people because I enjoyed tranquility. I'm selfish and I can be selfish. I do whatever I can do here, without the consequence of tarnishing my real life image. But Kyverno is me. I'm selfish because I was not supposed to be selfish. I do whatever I want because no one knows me. And yet, I tend to shy away from people not only for tranquility. For I choose to be alone so that I can't disappoint others, but me.